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Archiver > Scotch-Irish > 2011-12 > 1323905788


From: "Marilyn Otterson" <>
Subject: Re: [S-I] DNA Made Simple
Date: Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:36:28 -0500
References: <1305746469.647469.1323014638585.JavaMail.root@sz0165a.westchester.pa.mail.comcast.net>


Hi, LInda,

I am just getting to my mail from last week as we were away and now I have a
huge number of mail messages, mostly proposals to cut me in on a big
inheritance deal if only I will send all my personal info to a stranger who
is not very good at writing English and lives in Nigeria.

I have had some help in the last few years with some genealogy stuff, mostly
because people found some of my queries or comments online and wrote back to
me. My dad's mother was born a Milligan, but I did not know where her
parents came from except that the census said "Ireland" for place of birth.
Now come a couple of cousins...one descended from my great grandfather's
brother, another from another brother, and now one from my great great
grandfather's brother (my ancestors paternal uncle) so things are starting
to come together a little, especially that they were from Fermanagh and we
now have the townland and some of the birth and marriage records and the
church. I had worked on this gang for over 10 years with no luck and
suddenly I am getting a lot more information to fill in the blanks.

But I, too, have had demanding letters insisting that I hand over all the
information I have about my families. A few times I have given some
ancestral material, but seldom have I had a simple "thank you." On the
other hand I have had generous people like you and others who have helped me
a lot.

I guess it's just like anything...there are creeps, jerks, nasties and
idiots looking for their ancestors as well as nice folks who are interested,
interesting and willing to share or swap info. Maybe we should just
divorce the other folks, huh?

Cousin Marilyn
----- Original Message -----
From: <>
To: <>
Sent: Sunday, December 04, 2011 11:03 AM
Subject: Re: [S-I] DNA Made Simple


> Hi Marilyn,
>
> This is my major grudge:
>
>>I know what you mean about giving information...I don't really anticipate
>>reciprocity, but a "thank you" would sure be nice sometimes.
>
> I think sometimes people don't realize how they 'come off'. I've had
> people send me an email that consisted for one sentence: Send me all the
> information you have on *****". No "HI, I'm ..... and I'm researching the
> ?? family in >>>>". It's like a hold up. I had a guy demand all the
> surnames in my files at 23andme and the names of my parents and
> grandparents. Of course many I have no blood relationship to (married
> ins). Plus it's a huge security risk to send someone a file with the names
> of your parents and grandparents. I don't do it.
>
> If people aren't willing to engage in a little dialog to figure out how we
> might be related I don't send them anything. Unfortunately a lot of these
> are men. Women seem to be able to handle the communication part a little
> better <grin>. You shouldn't send private information to aggressive
> strangers on the Internet. It's a security risk.
>
> The other problem are the people who think you should drop everything in
> your life and immediately start working full time on their (ie your)
> genealogy problem. Hey, we got lives, and a few of us got priorities
> already. When you explain that you want to research the problem but can't
> right now they get angry. Life does interfere with genealogy -- illnesses
> for example. "Dear XXX I will do as you demand as soon as I recover from
> this multiple organ transplant surgery. Otherwise my heirs will send a
> huge crate with my LIfe's Work and you can write the dang book."
>
> I had one old grouch recently send me a spreadsheet full of DNA and expect
> that I'd analyze it all and come up with the same results as himself. I
> have been kind of ill with sinuses and thinking hurt. Reading his email
> hurt too.... What happened to the good old days when people published
> their results or at least wrote up a paragraph or two about it, attaching
> the raw data as an appendix, I wonder? I explained to him I didn't have
> time to re-analyze his results and if he could just explain what he thinks
> he's found and why its significant I'd read that and maybe that would help
> me understand the spreadsheet. He responded that he was through with me
> and would never send me another email again. I was so happy to hear that.
> Christmas presents arriving and it wasn't even December yet!
>
> Reminded me of a comedy team a firm I worked for hired for a trade show.
> At the end they did a spontaneous show for the staff in which they said of
> our marketing director that he was a "Legend in his own mind".
>
> An alzheimers patient or a retired executive? Hard to tell.
>
> Linda Merle
>
>
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