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Archiver > Scotch-Irish > 2011-12 > 1323014638


From:
Subject: Re: [S-I] DNA Made Simple
Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2011 16:03:58 +0000 (UTC)
In-Reply-To: <4ECA87F308664F1D8EFD7DF0BCDFF486@MRODELL>


Hi Marilyn,

This is my major grudge:

>I know what you mean about giving information...I don't really anticipate
>reciprocity, but a "thank you" would sure be nice sometimes.

I think sometimes people don't realize how they 'come off'. I've had people send me an email that consisted for one sentence: Send me all the information you have on *****". No "HI, I'm ..... and I'm researching the ?? family in >>>>". It's like a hold up. I had a guy demand all the surnames in my files at 23andme and the names of my parents and grandparents. Of course many I have no blood relationship to (married ins). Plus it's a huge security risk to send someone a file with the names of your parents and grandparents. I don't do it.

If people aren't willing to engage in a little dialog to figure out how we might be related I don't send them anything. Unfortunately a lot of these are men. Women seem to be able to handle the communication part a little better <grin>. You shouldn't send private information to aggressive strangers on the Internet. It's a security risk.

The other problem are the people who think you should drop everything in your life and immediately start working full time on their (ie your) genealogy problem. Hey, we got lives, and a few of us got priorities already. When you explain that you want to research the problem but can't right now they get angry. Life does interfere with genealogy -- illnesses for example. "Dear XXX I will do as you demand as soon as I recover from this multiple organ transplant surgery. Otherwise my heirs will send a huge crate with my LIfe's Work and you can write the dang book."

I had one old grouch recently send me a spreadsheet full of DNA and expect that I'd analyze it all and come up with the same results as himself. I have been kind of ill with sinuses and thinking hurt. Reading his email hurt too.... What happened to the good old days when people published their results or at least wrote up a paragraph or two about it, attaching the raw data as an appendix, I wonder? I explained to him I didn't have time to re-analyze his results and if he could just explain what he thinks he's found and why its significant I'd read that and maybe that would help me understand the spreadsheet. He responded that he was through with me and would never send me another email again. I was so happy to hear that. Christmas presents arriving and it wasn't even December yet!

Reminded me of a comedy team a firm I worked for hired for a trade show. At the end they did a spontaneous show for the staff in which they said of our marketing director that he was a "Legend in his own mind".

An alzheimers patient or a retired executive? Hard to tell.

Linda Merle


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