Scotch-Irish-L Archives

From: linda Merle <>
Subject: Fwd: Windaes 98
Date: Sat, 05 Sep 1998 12:24:22 -0700

On topic joke -- it's about Scotland and it builds our Scots
vocabularies!!

By the way, want to join the Ulster Scots or Ullans list? Send email to
Ian Parsley at

Linda Merle

> Windows 98 Recall
>
> It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Scotland version
>of
>Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Scotland. If you
>have
>one of the Scotland editions you may need some help understanding the
>commands. The Scotland edition may be recognized by looking at the
>opening
>screen. It reads WINDAES 98, Ye Ken, with a background picture of
>William
>Wallace superimposed on a St Andrews Cross. It is shipped with a Mel
>Gibson
>and Alex Salmond screen saver.
>
> Also note the Recycle Bin is called The Bucket, My Computer is called
>Thon Computer Thingie, Dialup Networking is called Phone the Bhoys.
>Control
>Panel is known as the Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as the
>tractor, and
>floppies are referred to as thae wee plastic disc things.
>
> Other features:
>
>- Instead of an error message you get a windae covered with a picture of
>a neep.
>- OK = ats fine
>- cancel = na na ma loon
>- reset = Och yed be as weel startin again
>- yes = och aye
>- no = nae chunce mon
>- find = if yed bothered to pit it past in a safe place, ye widnae need
>to look
> for it noo
>- go to = gon ower ere
>- back = back the wye
>- help = geese a haun
>- stop = packit in
>- start = com on en
>- settings = sittins
>- programs = stuff whit daes stuff
>- documents = stuff I hive done afore
> Also note that windaes 98 does not recognise capital letters or
>punctuation marks.
>
> Some programs that are exclusive to windaes 98:
>- Pincil an paper...........A word processor
>- colourin book.......a Graphics program
>- addin machine......calculator
>- Andrex......notepad
>- juke-box............CD player
>- photies.............A graphics viewer
>- Massey...............Tractor dealers listed by Post Code
>- car.................See previous entry
>- tax records.........usually an empty file
>
>
> We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
>of
>the Scotland edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
>version.
>________________________________
>
>Windows Multitasking: screwing up several things at once
>
> Alan Cathcart
> mailto:
>

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• Fwd: Windaes 98 by linda Merle <>