Scotch-Irish-L Archives

Archiver > Scotch-Irish > 1998-03 > 0889253704


From: "alice white" <>
Subject: Fw: [BSP] Something to think about
Date: Fri, 6 Mar 1998 23:55:04 -0700


It's not genealogy - a history of our personal past, but it is a pointed
reminder and a lesson for our personal present and future -- I send this on
to you from the Beta Sigma Phi list -- Alice in Phoenix

> Subject: [BSP] Something to think about
>
> Treat this day as the first and last day of your life. My brother-in-law
> opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a
> tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is
> lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
> exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price
tag
> with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this
the
> first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never
wore
> it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the
> occasion."
>
> He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we
> were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material
for
> a moment, then he jammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever
> save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a
special
> occasion."
>
> I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed
> when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow
an
> unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to
> California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I
> thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I
> thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they
were
> special.
>
> I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm
> reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the
> view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more
time
> with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever
> possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure.
> I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not
> "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special
> event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first
> camellia
> blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My
theory
> is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of
> groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special
> parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that
> function as well as my party-going friends'.
>
> "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.

> If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do
it
> now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she
> wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she
> would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have
> called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
> squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese
dinner,
> her favorite food. I'm guessing --I'll never know.
>
> It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
> that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends
> whom I was going to get in touch with -- someday. Angry because I hadn't
> written certain letters that I intended to write -- one of these days.
> Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and
> daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
>
> I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would
> add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my
> eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
>
> Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
>
>
> Beta Sigma Phi

This thread: