Scotch-Irish-L ArchivesArchiver > Scotch-Irish > 1998-01 > 0885323166
From: Al Roberts <>
Subject: List of Merleisms
Date: Tue, 20 Jan 1998 11:06:06 -0800 (PST)
A little levity is good especially for us Scotch-Irish....These were all so
good that I hope no one minds my userping their copyrights...I pasted them
all together and will read a few to start off each day!
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Not the sharpest tack on the board.
Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
Just a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.
His belt doesn't go through all the belt loops.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
A room temperature IQ.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
Has a photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
Bright as Alaska in December.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Fell out of the family tree.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He's so dense, light bends around him.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".
His dip stick doesn't quite reach the oil.
He is 3 bricks short of a load.
He is lite in the loafers.
He is 3 french fries short of a Happy Meal.
Half a bubble off plumb.
Small potatoes, and few to the hill.
Only has 49 cards in her deck.
Her phone is off the hook.
One brain cell short of an IQ.
One IQ short of being human.
Missed the line when they were handing out brains.
One Taco short of a Combination Platter.
Elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
Is that your IQ or your shoe size?
A few quarters short of a dollar.
Is that the phone ringing or your head?
The lights are on but nobodys home.
A little short in the major suits.
One pancake short of a small stack.
He dove off the board and they had drained the pool.
They dealt the cards and he missed his turn.
|List of Merleisms by Al Roberts <>|