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From: "Gary Boivin" <>
Subject: [Q-R] You asked about my visit with my wife
Date: Mon, 11 Sep 2006 15:23:19 -0600
References: <00c001c69966$9ff782f0$0a02a8c0@computer><004201c6d505$4ee4ad40$657ba8c0@hppav><1c4801c6d5d7$1c206d90$0a02a8c0@computer>


My wife, Suzanne Carriere, is in a hospice (palliative care facility)
called "Maison de la Paix" in Sudbury, Ontario. She will be there
until the end.

She has lost a lot of weight (50 + pounds) and the cancer is taking
control of most of her. Her body shakes a lot because of the weight
loss --- Suzanne calls it "the ANSIs". She sleeps a lot because of
the morphine and codeine meds they have her on.

My daughter got to visit her mother often. At first a few family
members were concerned about how the site of Suzanne would
traumatize her but the shock lasted about 5 seconds... After that
they were hugging and laughing. I'm happy that Michelle got to
spend some last quality time with Suzanne.

I had a more awkward time of it. My sister-in-law Diane has
Power-of-Attorney over my wife. I visited Suzanne the first
day I arrived there for about 4 hours but once Diane found
out I was there, she ordered the hospice to not allow me
physical or telephone access to Suzanne. She claims that
Suzanne and I are separated --- yes.. we lived separately
but that's only because Suzanne's best chances for care were
in Sudbury, Ontario and my best chances for medical care
is in the province of Alberta --- I am still married to her.

I didn't want to cause family problems because I have to
deal with these people after Suzanne passes on --- my
daughter should have a relationship with her mother's
family so I told Suzanne that I wouldn't push the issue
through the Courts (for now). She agreed that I shouldn't
pursue it for now.

Suzanne and I were only allowed to visit outside the
hospice --- the nurses would get her dressed and take
her out to visit me when she was strong enough.

Last Tuesday, before leaving to come home, I saw
Suzanne... I asked her if I should stay in Sudbury ( I
didn't want to leave). She said "No"... That I should go
back to Alberta... That Michelle needed to go to school.
Then she hugged me for about 45 minutes... I think she
knew that it would probably be the last time we ever
see each other. It was a very emotional time... I didn't
want to go....

NOTE: To show you the medical problems that I have I
ended up spending three weeks under hospital/medical
care while I was there. I had a massive infection that
required Vancomyacine <sp?> antibiotics through I.V.
for three weeks. I'm now on 2 different antibiotics for
the next 90 days --- Cloxacillin Sodium 500mg four
times per day AND Ciproflox 500mg twice a day.

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