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Archiver > QUEBEC-RESEARCH > 2005-02 > 1108230794


From:
Subject: LOL
Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2005 12:53:14 EST


Odd Newspaper Headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says(wasnt messy enough.........)


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers(they have big
bumpers.............)

Safety Expert Says School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted(and placed in hand
cuffs also.............)

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case(cramped quarters are just what he
needs...........)

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents( now, see how the parents like
it..................)

Farmer Bill Dies in House(even though he requested the
barn.......................)

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? (nah, I use fresh wipes)

Eye Drops Off Shelf(but is retrieved and placed back in its socket)


Stolen Painting Found By Tree(George R. Tree believes he can find another
painting............)

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years ( he's hardly a picture
of his former self................)


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge(only daring pedestrians allowed on the
bridge...............)

New Study of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group (500 pounds or more, or you
don't qualify......................)

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half (and accused of split
personalities...................)




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