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Archiver > QUEBEC-RESEARCH > 2004-07 > 1090771869


From:
Subject: Excerpt Of History
Date: Sun, 25 Jul 2004 12:11:35 EDT


Epitaphs

England Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann
*****************************************************************
England Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife
And the devil sent him Anna
*******************************************************************
New Mexico Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising
*******************************************************************
England Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer
And that is Strange
********************************************************************
Vermont I was somebody
Who, is no business
Of yours
***********************************************************************
Florida I told you
I was sick
***********************************************************************
England Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a penny
**********************************************************************
Virginia She always said her feet were killing her
But nobody believed her
************************************************************************
England On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune
**********************************************************************
Vermont Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go
******************************************************************************
*
Pennsylvania Ellen Shannon
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
By the explosion of a lamp
Filled with "R. E. Danforth's"
Non explosive burning fluid
******************************************************************************
New York State Underneath this pile of stones
Lies all that's left of Sally
Jones
Her name was Briggs
It was not Jones
But Jones was used to
Rhyme with stones
******************************************************************************
Mississippi Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I aint
Again
******************************************************************************
England Fear God, keep his Commandments
And don't attempt to climb a tree
For that's what caused the death of me
******************************************************************************
***
Maryland Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go
******************************************************************************
Welland, Ontario Here lies all that remains of Charlotte
Born a virgin, died a harlot
For sixteen years she kept her
virginity
A marvelous thing for this vicinity
******************************************************************************
*
Colorado Here lies Zeke
The second fastest draw
In Cripple Creek
******************************************************************************
*
England Remember man, as you walk by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be
Remember this and follow me
( and a reply written on the stone)
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went
******************************************************************************
*
Wisconsin Here lies Joyce
She rather not died
But had no choice
******************************************************************************
England Grim death took me
Without any warning
I was well at night
And dead in the morning
*****************************************************************************
Kansas Here lies a farmer who
Has now properly assumed
All of his obligations
I made a lot of deals in my lifetime
But sure went in the hole on this one
******************************************************************************
**
Pennsylvania Stranger approach this spot
With gravity for John B. Cudd, D.M.D.
Is filling his last cavity
******************************************************************************
*
London If I am so quickly done for
What on earth was I begun for?
******************************************************************************
*
London God took our flower
Our little Nell
He thought He too would like the smell
******************************************************************************
***
West U.S. Beneath this grassy mount now rests
Edgar Oscar Earl
Who to another hunter looked exactly like a
squirrel


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