Archiver > IRISH-IN-CHICAGO > 2008-03 > 1205517711

From: "Marilyn Shanahan" <>
Subject: [IRISH-IN-CHICAGO] Must have been 1852 New Year resolutions
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:01:51 -0500

Is from another lister, but thought our Irish Americans in Chicago would get a "kick" out of it, not to mention, how we all can relate to it...

1852 New Year Resolutions

It is New Year's Eve 1852 and Henry HYDENWELL sits at his desk by
candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to writes his New
Year's resolutions.

1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at
least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give
the appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year.

2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same
names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row.

3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never
list the same age or birth year twice on any document.

4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different
church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every
third child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an
itinerant minister who keeps no records.

5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least
once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around
asking silly questions.

6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no
vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every
few years.

7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe
record keeping or in participating in military service.

8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen,
has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink.

9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry
another Mary.

10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a

Author Unknown


This thread: