Archiver > IRISH-IN-CHICAGO > 2007-08 > 1185989239

From: dan hogan <>
Subject: [IRISH-IN-CHICAGO] Fwd: A Tipperary Turk.
Date: Wed, 1 Aug 2007 10:27:19 -0700 (PDT)

This story is too funny not to share.
>From the County Tipperary list transcribed by Mary

> 1-6-1864. A Tipperary Turk.

> During the operations of the allies in the Crimea,
> it was resolved to carry
> the water in from a beautiful spring in the finest
> Croton of the camp.
> Leather hose or pipe was employed, which was laid on
> the ground. One
> morning, while the water was being supplied, the
> minaret sounded to prayers,
> and one of the Turkish soldiers immediately went on
> his knees to praise
> Allah. Unfortunately he went down upon the hose, and
> his weight suddenly
> stopped the current of that "first of elements" as
> Pindar calls water.
> "Get up" cried and English soldier.
> "Vowlez vous avez la bonte, mon cher Monsieur La
> Turgue," cried a Frenchman,
> with his native politeness, "to get up".
> "That ain't the way to make a turk move" cried
> another. "This is the
> dodge",. So saying he knocked the Turban off. Still
> the pious Mussulman went
> on with his devotion.
> "I'll make him stir his stumps" said the other
> Englishman, giving the Turk a
> remarkably hard kick. To the wonder of all, still
> the unturbaned, well
> kicked follower of the prophet went on praying as
> though he was a
> forty-horse parson.
> "Hoot, awa, mon-I'll show how we serve obstinate
> folks at auld Reekie",
> quietly observed a Scotchman-he was, however,
> prevented, for the Turk,
> having finished his "Allah ven en Allah", rose and
> began to take off his
> coat-then to roll up his sleeves, and then to put
> himself in the most
> approved boxing attitude, a la Yankee Sullivan, He
> then advanced in the true
> Tom Hyer style to the Englishman who had kicked him
> in the lumber region.
> "A ring, a ring!", shouted the soldiers and sailors,
> perfectly astonished to
> see a Turk such an adept in the fistic art.
> The Englishman, nothing loth to having a bit of fun
> with the Turk of such a
> John Bull turn of mind, set to work, but found that
> he had met his master.
> In five minutes he had received his Quantum
> sufficit. As the Turk coolly
> replaced his coat and turban, he turned around and
> said to the admiring
> bystanders, in the purest brogue.
> "Bad luck to ye, ye spalpeens!, when ye're after
> kicking a Turk, I'd advise
> ye, the next time, to make sure he's not an
> Irishman.
> The mystery was solved-the Turk was a Tipperary man.

Dan Hogan

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