ESSEX-UK-L Archives

Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2006-11 > 1163814349


From: "Hazel Hargraves" <>
Subject: Re: [Ess] when you find relatives, then no reply
Date: Sat, 18 Nov 2006 01:45:49 -0000
References: <01f301c70a75$616eef20$0202a8c0@plpsueg><857f70874e.chris.gadsby@chris.gadsby.virgin.net>


A lot of people are excited by watching programmes like "Who do you think
you are" & think they can find several generations in half an hour like they
do on TV. Don't worry about these new sites. You'll get many bad
experiences but a few good ones too. Remember our families lost touch for
whatever reason years ago & not everyone now will want to get too close
either. They may have reasons/family legends for not wanting to reply. Or
they just don't realise how much work & time proper genealogy takes! Take
these sites for what they are & concentrate on proper research & the tried &
tested sites that the serious researchers use.
The best place to discuss the Genes Reunited site is probably on their
message board - I doubt many of their subscribers who have annoyed so many
people (including me!) have found their way onto here! But I have found
some OK distant cousins on there too. You just have to realise that for
every 100 people you reply to you will be lucky if you find one proper
genealogist who will share stuff & continue researching. It's frustrating
when you find the person who has your missing links but they don't reply or
share what you need. I don't know why they go on there either but I think we
should try & treat them as a casual source of info & get on with our
research like we always did before these new sites came along. You can get
a long way without them!
Having just returned to the Essex list after a long absence, I say let's
concentrate on our history like we all used to & get more postings related
to that, not ones relating to disappointments from this type of site. Every
time you are upset by a non-replier from Genes Connected, remember to post
your info to the relevant Rootsweb board, look on ancestry, check censuses &
parish records, ask someone if they can check local records for you, offer
to do some in the area where you live in return.
That really works - I did a "research swap" with someone who looked up my
ancestors in Staffordshire & I did his in Essex. We made great progress for
each other & became good friends too -even found out much later we were very
distantly related! We got in touch via this Essex list a few years ago due
to his good idea.
These new sites make it all look too easy & we know it isn't really! If it
was we'd already know these people....
I've been researching for 27 years (since age 14!!) for myself &
others.Apart from my own I've done a little professionally but most as a
favour. These sites & even the internet didn't exist then so don't worry
about them - you can't rely on what someone else tells you anyway, you
always need to check records & verify it yourself. Be grateful for the new
source of clues but stick to finding it for yourself.
So many people want their family tree handed to them on a plate - I'm glad I
never had that because the satistfaction is finding it for yourself however
long it takes (& I know because it took me over 20 years to find my family
in Australia! I'm still searching for other relatives & ancestors now). It
really takes a lifetime not a quick fix site.
I don't want to speak out of turn, but let's get back to our Essex research
now.
All the best to everyone,
Hazel
----- Original Message -----
From: "Chris Gadsby" <>
To: <>
Cc: "Essex" <>
Sent: Saturday, November 18, 2006 12:10 AM
Subject: Re: [Ess] when you find relatives, then no reply


>
> In message <01f301c70a75$616eef20$> you wrote:
>
>> I wonder what other listers experiences are on this.
>>
>> I have found a def ancestor link to my g grandfather on Ancestry
>> months ago and the person never replied
>>
>> Then last two weeks ago I got a definate link thru Genes Reunited
>> for my Meadows family, the lister acknowledged a def. link in a
>> brief message, and then asked for some more info about my
>> connection, which I gave, but did not give access to my tree ( he
>> did not ask) then NOTHING
>>
>> I am mystified.....................
>>
>> if someone contacted me and said we were related, however distant, I
>> would be thrilled to bits and swopping mails frequently.
>>
>> Do other listers have better luck than me, or is this a common
>> experience?
>>
>> Sue
>
> Sue,
>
> I sympathise with what you are saying. I have recently had what
> appeared at first to be a similar experience. I found a link with
> someone on Genes Reunited and he gave an email address to which I
> replied in some detail. No response came back, but after a couple of
> weeks I decided to write again and ask if he had received my previous
> email. I had a reply this time by return and - no, my first
> communication had not got through.
>
> I have had a few other emails of mine which have gone astray and that
> have apparently turned up in spam folders so I would just say take an
> optimistic stance - give them the benefit of the doubt and email again
> enquiring if your previous message was received. You may be fortunate
> second time round! Also remember some folk don't check their messages
> very regularly which can be frustrating.
>
> Good luck and don't give up,
>
> Chris
>
> --
> Using a RiscPC with Risc OS Select
> Head of Chemistry, Luckley Oakfield School, Wokingham
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Any problems, please contact the List Admin:
> -------------------------------
> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to
> with the word 'unsubscribe' without the
> quotes in the subject and the body of the message
>
>


This thread: