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Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2004-09 > 1094111295


From: "patricia salter" <>
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2004 08:48:34 +0100
References: <200409011044.i81AiM0T000309@mail.rootsweb.com> <018101c49059$fefe1510$a8790650@packard>


I myself recently found out that my mother had been three months pregnant
when she married, when I asked her for her marriage certificate three years
ago, she owned up when she showed me. I had always been told that I had
been born prematurely at 6 months :-) Didnt bother me at all, just made
me realize that my mother wasnt the sensible and straight person that I had
always thought she was and had probably been a 'bit of a girl' in her youth.
I had seen photos of her and she certainly was very beautiful, a bit like
Grace Kelly, so I can see why my father couldnt wait!
Patti



----- Original Message -----
From: "colleen morrison" <>
To: <>
Sent: Wednesday, September 01, 2004 8:29 PM
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?


> I've had a similar problem to this, one elderly Essex relation who
couldn't
> find his mother's 1890s birth certificate kept asking me to find it for
him,
> I became sure that she must have been born before her mother married and
> that my relation wouldn't want to know this, so kept quiet. Eventually,
> after I'd repeatedly failed to find her certificate too, he began to twig
> and asked his older brother. The brother told him to stop poking his nose
> into their mother's affairs, all he needed to know was she'd been a good
> mother - he twigged a bit more then. I left him to find out gradually in
> this way so it wasn't a shock when he finally got it out of his brother.
> Don't ask me why some people still become so upset about this when its so
> common, but some still do.
>
> Colleen
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jo" <>
>
> > We took the decision to tell him what we'd found - as with the advent of
> > the
> > internet and records being made so available to the public by
1837-0nline
> > etc it would have been awful for his grandchildren to find out that way.
> > He's taken it badly, its brought out a lot of negative feelings for him
> > and
> > he's chosen not to tell his children or grandchildren..my cousins.
> >
> > I'm now somewhat lumbered with the "knowledge" & feel they should
know..if
>
>
>


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