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Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2004-09 > 1094087061


From: "DA & TR Shean" <>
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2004 10:34:21 +0930
References: <200409011044.i81AiM0T000309@mail.rootsweb.com> <018101c49059$fefe1510$a8790650@packard>


Colleen, Jo, List

My problem was similar and much closer to home in that I had to tell my
father and his siblings that whilst their birth certificates (1931, 1933,
1934, 1938) all *presented* the parents as married ... the marriage did not
'happen' until 1939 - 7 months before the birth of the youngest in Nov 1939!

I also had to reveal that;
- their elder sister (1930) is most likely only a half sister (mother used a
different surname SMITH (not even her maiden name, seemingly the surname of
the family for whom she had been working... and no father's name on
certificate)
- she also used SMITH as her 'former name' on the 1931 birth certificate
- their parents on marriage certificate both altered their ages (a ten year
age difference being far more respectable than a 20 year one)
- their mother's birth certificate shows no father and she 'created' a
father's name for the marriage certificate (I suspect but have yet to prove
that thier father did likewise but that's another story)

**My father insisted that the dates on the certificate etc must have been
recorded incorrectly and that it should have been 1929 -- which as I
pointed out wuld have made the 1930 and 1931 birth certificates of his
siblings look strange

This is obviously only the 'tip' of what I'm likely to uncover - those who
are interested in the family history and want to know have been told the
facts and been provided with the documentation to support them - one has
also been told - but I suspect from the lack of reaction (hard to judge from
12,000 miles away) may already have 'suspected' some or all of what I've
found - those who aren't interested I still send them the basic details -
they haven't asked me to desist and I hope that one day they may take an
interest or at least let my cousins have access if they wish ...
Never easy decisions ....

Teresa
Darwin Australia
----- Original Message -----
From: "colleen morrison" <>
To: <>
Sent: Thursday, September 02, 2004 4:59 AM
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?


> I've had a similar problem to this, one elderly Essex relation who
couldn't
> find his mother's 1890s birth certificate kept asking me to find it for
him,
> I became sure that she must have been born before her mother married and
> that my relation wouldn't want to know this, so kept quiet. Eventually,
> after I'd repeatedly failed to find her certificate too, he began to twig
> and asked his older brother. The brother told him to stop poking his nose
> into their mother's affairs, all he needed to know was she'd been a good
> mother - he twigged a bit more then. I left him to find out gradually in
> this way so it wasn't a shock when he finally got it out of his brother.
> Don't ask me why some people still become so upset about this when its so
> common, but some still do.
>
> Colleen
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jo" <>
>
> > We took the decision to tell him what we'd found - as with the advent of
> > the
> > internet and records being made so available to the public by
1837-0nline
> > etc it would have been awful for his grandchildren to find out that way.
> > He's taken it badly, its brought out a lot of negative feelings for him
> > and
> > he's chosen not to tell his children or grandchildren..my cousins.
> >
> > I'm now somewhat lumbered with the "knowledge" & feel they should
know..if
>
>
>

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