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Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2004-09 > 1094068595


From: "Bev Harsh" <>
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 20:56:35 +0100
References: <20040901085419.B0E9B2A0CE@webmail223.herald.ox.ac.uk>


Hi Adrian,

I think if one is into family research, one has to expect that all sorts
of weird and wonderful revelations may come to light. If one doesn't want
to find them, one shouldn't start researching. Big difference between
telling family members who are not doing family research, who may not want
to know, and those who are, and should welcome all information.

Bev



> There are ALWAYS people who don't or won't want to hear about "trouble"
in the family.
> There's quite a bit in mine - my oh-so-respectable Granny's ancestors
spent a century
> telling whoppers in the name of social climbing for example. What I've
found is that the
> best way to avoid upset is to tell people verbally and drop hints about
it. Often people will
> pick up on those and want to hear more, or will promptly give you
chapter and verse!
> One octagenarian relation told me "Boy, you're descended from a long
line of (naughty
> word) artists!" when he saw what I'd written about my lot's tendency to
run pubs!
>
> I'd try to approach with as much tact as possible and an open mind about
whether they
> should know or not because some people would LOVE to know that
oh-so-stead Uncle
> Jim had fifteen children by a Jamaican mistress - or whatever - while
others are happier
> remembering the dear old boy who bounced them on his knee without
knowing that he
> was a serial philanderer. Please note that this is a fictional example
and no offence is
> intended to anyone!
>
> Of course it all becomes awkward when you want to write things down...
>
>
> >
> >
>

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