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Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2004-09 > 1094066961


From: "colleen morrison" <>
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 20:29:21 +0100
References: <200409011044.i81AiM0T000309@mail.rootsweb.com>


I've had a similar problem to this, one elderly Essex relation who couldn't
find his mother's 1890s birth certificate kept asking me to find it for him,
I became sure that she must have been born before her mother married and
that my relation wouldn't want to know this, so kept quiet. Eventually,
after I'd repeatedly failed to find her certificate too, he began to twig
and asked his older brother. The brother told him to stop poking his nose
into their mother's affairs, all he needed to know was she'd been a good
mother - he twigged a bit more then. I left him to find out gradually in
this way so it wasn't a shock when he finally got it out of his brother.
Don't ask me why some people still become so upset about this when its so
common, but some still do.

Colleen
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jo" <>

> We took the decision to tell him what we'd found - as with the advent of
> the
> internet and records being made so available to the public by 1837-0nline
> etc it would have been awful for his grandchildren to find out that way.
> He's taken it badly, its brought out a lot of negative feelings for him
> and
> he's chosen not to tell his children or grandchildren..my cousins.
>
> I'm now somewhat lumbered with the "knowledge" & feel they should know..if



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