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Archiver > ESSEX-UK > 2004-09 > 1094029537


From: Anne Peat <>
Subject: Re: Essex family problems - to disclose or not?
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 10:07:00 +0100
References: <016601c48ffc$3eec4a60$a8790650@packard>
In-Reply-To: <016601c48ffc$3eec4a60$a8790650@packard>


Colleen,
I agree with you. I would not tell. My aunt got very upset when he
discovered our great grandfather did not get married until several
children - including our grandfather - had been born. So I have not
told her what I have found out - that he started another family with
his second wife before his first wife died, and that another ancestor
from another side of the family committed suicide.
With genetic traits, it's slightly different. Then you might want to
tell the younger people. But you can let the pictures tell their own
story. People are very good at not seeing what they don't want to see.
Best wishes,
Anne
On 1 Sep 2004, at 09:18, colleen morrison wrote:

> From time to time I help with a query and discover something in the
> past regarding an enquirer's direct line of ancestors that might upset
> the enquirer if I tell them. I don't mean murderers, murder victims,
> out of wedlock births or that sort of thing, many of us have those and
> don't bat an eyelid about this or even welcome the colour it gives our
> research.
>
> The sort of problem I'm thinking of is that of a long line of Essex
> people who were very tiny, not much more than 3' tall, I would think,
> if that - referred to as dwarfs at the time, though that's not a very
> nice way to describe someone and its probably a discriminatory term in
> Britain today. Some of this line married very tiny people too, and the
> trait appears to have been a persistent one.
>
> Anyway, I usually decide that itsnot my business to point this out and
> say nothing. But am I right to do so? If my ancestors had ancestors
> with genetic traits such as this I would want to know, so perhaps I
> have no right to keep such information to myself. Saying nothing can
> also make it difficult when I'm asked for copies of photographs which
> show the above line by enquirers who are descended from it.
>
> A friend of mine has discovered a lot of extreme extra-marital goings
> on, confused paternity and missing marriages among the one set of
> recent ancestors. His attitude is that even very elderly and frail
> members of his family should be told the truth. I personally would not
> tell them about this. What do others do in such circumstances?
>
> I should add that none of the above applies to anyone I'm helping at
> present or I wouldn't post this.
>
> Colleen
>

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